The Sex Industry

Here on the beautiful island of Phuket in Thailand, there are a great number of mixed Thai-Western marriages. It really is turning into quite a phenomenon. Around Phuket’s schools and playgrounds it is common to see mixed-race children happily playing with the 100% Thai kids. They are usually easy to spot with fairer skin, western features and non-black hair. A whole generation of culturally diverse, multi-lingual children is growing up and will soon be quite an asset to Phuket’s tourist industry.

This phenomenon of mixed marriages in Phuket has really exploded over the last decade. Of course, the major reason is the expansion of Phuket’s tourist trade. When you have more than a million western visitors a year, it is natural that some of them will meet and fall in love with local people. Especially when the local people are so appealing.

But there must be more to it than that. The tourist resorts around the Mediterranean, Caribbean and US also receive millions of foreign visitors a year. There are mixed-nationality marriages at these resorts but not thousands in a small area like there are in Phuket.

One thing stands out when you look at Phuket’s ex-pat population – the vast majority of us are men. Probably around 90% of the ex-pat population is male. That is not the case when you look at the breakdown of tourist visitors where the split is only 60-40 in favour of males.

So while there are many women visiting Thailand, only a small percentage of them decide to settle here. It is probably a similar percentage to those that settle at other holiday resorts. But the men are marrying Thai women and settling here in numbers that way exceed what is typical elsewhere. There is an obvious conclusion to draw. There are a lot of men coming to Phuket to actively seek wives. They are not just falling in love while on holiday – they are coming with the pre-planned intent of finding a doe-eyed Thai beauty to be their spouse.

Many men seem to be dissatisfied with their experiences of women in their home country. Society has changed rapidly in the west over the last few decades. Women have become more confident and assertive. They can be intimidating to approach and fast with a withering put-down. They are much more demanding in their relationships and expect a lot of concessions from their partners. Many men do not like it. They still want the fifties ideal of a feminine, doting wife.

So they come to Thailand in search of the answer to their problem. Here, they believe they can still find women who are beautiful, feminine and attentive to their husband’s needs.

It is dangerous to generalise too much about the men who marry Thai girls and settle in Phuket. They all have their own story. Just the same, there are common patterns. You can place a lot of these men into three broad groups:

Group 1. There are those that come to Phuket for ‘normal’ reasons such as work or a break from work. It is natural that some of these people will meet and fall in love with locals. This happens all over the world. There is no doubt that Thai women are very charming so perhaps it is more common here than elsewhere.

Group 2. Then there are those who fall in love with their bargirl. The girls who work in the sex industry are good at selling themselves; it is their job. It is not usually the hardened sex-tourists that fall for their charms. They tend to pick up a new girl every night with no emotional attachment. It is the new guys. The men who come to Phuket for the first time, not quite knowing what to expect. They probably have an idea that they are going to pick up a prostitute but they don’t know how it works. They end up doing the GFE (girl friend experience – see Phuket Naughty Nightlife). That is picking up a bar girl and then keeping her for the entire length of the holiday. They act as if they are boyfriend-girlfriend. The girl gets plenty of time to weave her magic. She tugs the guy’s heartstrings with her life story until he is brimming with sympathy. She gives him lots of affection and by the end of his holiday, he is in love.

Group 3. Then there are those who come with the pre-planned intent of finding a wife. They have thought about it and come to the reasoned conclusion that a Thai wife would make their life better. Some of these guys will look for their new wife around the sex venues of Patong. Others want to stay away from the sex industry girls. They may try dating agencies or internet matching services. Some of them will try to meet ‘good’ Thai women away from the tourist resorts. Their approaches may vary but the conclusion is the same – they think a life in Phuket with a Thai wife would be better than their current life back home.

Whatever the reasons, the mixed Thai-Western marriage is now an established part of Phuket’s scenery. Not all of these Western men find their dream wife. Many of these marriages run into problems but that is true of marriages the world over. There can be extra problems related to marriages between people from different cultures. Still a lot of western men are very happy with their choice.

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When I first told my friends that I was planning an extended stay in Thailand, it is amazing how many times I heard the same stupid reply – “watch out for them ladyboys!” Again and again, I heard this inane comment until it really started to grate. Everybody making the same stupid joke as if it was clever and original. What a ridiculous stereotype of Thailand, I thought. As if there are ladyboys everywhere you go.

The funny thing is, once I moved to Thailand, I soon discovered that ladyboys, or katoeys as they are known in Thailand, really are everywhere. It is not just a handful of them working the tourist resorts. You will see them working in shops and restaurants. Even if you go out into the country, you will find katoeys. They really are everywhere.

In fact, I had not been here long before I had a personal acquaintance who was a katoey. One of the things I noticed was just how comfortable other Thais were in her company. Straight Thai men were quite happy to give her compliments such as telling her how beautiful she looked. They all called her ‘she’ as it is polite and made her happy.

Personally, I was initially a little uncomfortable in her presence. I wasn’t scared she would jump on me. She was a pleasant and well-balanced person. I was just a little unsure how to deal with her. It was the charming way the other Thais treated her that soon put me at ease.

What is a Katoey?

What exactly is a katoey? I had this discussion with a couple of western friends recently. They both live in Phuket and both said that you can only call someone a katoey if they have had gender altering surgery; otherwise, you should use the term ladyboy. This I feel is a western invented distinction. Katoey is a Thai word and that is not how it is used.

Thais use the term much more loosely. They use the term for any man who acts like a woman. Transgender male is probably the closest English term. Men who have gender altering surgery are katoeys. So are those who take hormones to create female attributes such as breasts. So are those who dress up like a woman. In fact, even gay men who put on a bit of make up and flounce around are referred to as katoeys.

Why so many Katoeys in Thailand?

By this definition, there certainly are plenty of katoeys in Thailand. So why is this phenomenon so much more common here than in other countries? It seems unlikely that there is a genetic reason for Thailand to have more transgender males than other countries. I think the reason is much more to do with the tolerant attitude of the Thai people.

There are many katoey TV stars, singers and models. They even have katoey beauty contests. There have been several katoey movies such as ‘Beautiful Boxer’ which is the true story of a katoey who became a champion Muay Thai fighter. She would often kiss her defeated opponents.

Katoeys seem to be a widely accepted part of Thai society. This is probably partly to do with the Buddhist religion and its preaching of tolerance towards others. However, other countries with a strong Buddhist influence (Cambodia, Myanmar, Sri Lanka, Tibet, Laos, Japan) are not known for their ladyboys.

There must be something else at work. I think one strong factor is the Thai belief that life should be fun (sanook). When they see a katoey, they think it is fun. They will laugh and joke about it but not in a nasty way. They certainly will not hurl abuse or threats as might happen in western countries.

So the main reason why there are so many katoeys in Thailand is simply that Thai society is open and tolerant to them. It makes you wonder how many transvestites there might be in western countries if our societies were a little more forgiving.

How Many Katoeys Work in Phuket?

In the wake of the tsunami tragedy and the media feeding frenzy that followed, a friend sent me an article from a British newspaper. The reporter was in Phuket and obviously struggling to compete for attention with reporters at harder hit areas. So he did what a lot of reporters in Phuket did and started focusing on the seedier side of the local nightlife. Quite what this had to do with the tsunami tragedy I am not sure.

This particular reporter seemed to be fascinated with the ladyboy scene. He made a few sweeping generalisations about Phuket’s nightlife, suggesting the whole island was truly a cesspit of debauchery. He then claimed there were 5,000 ladyboys working in Phuket’s sex industry and a huge demand for their services.

Where did he get this figure? It seems like a very bold claim. Is there a census? Do the authorities make a ladyboy count? I really doubt there was a reliable statistic available to this reporter. Like most of his report, I think he just made it up but he obviously saw enough ladyboys around to think it was a reasonable guess.

Phuket’s high season population is estimated to be around 500,000. If 5,000 of them are ladyboys then that would be 1% of the population. That would seem very unlikely but not totally inconceivable. But he said 5,000 actually working in the sex industry. Where was this army of available ladyboys?

At Soi Katoey in Bangla Road, Patong, there are always a few dancing at the front of the soi. There is another katoey bar at the back and Moulin Rouge ladyboy show. But surely even at the highest estimate, there could not be more than 50 ladyboys working in Soi Katoey. There are maybe another 30 performing at Simon Cabaret Ladyboy Show – does that even count as the sex industry? For the sake of argument, let’s say it does. Then there is the gay area around Soi Paradise. There are quite a few ladyboys around this area but I think an estimate of 100 would be very generous.

There are a few ladyboys freelancing along the beachfronts where they annoy passing drunks. But really, they are not there in very high numbers. Let’s be generous again and say 100. Have I missed any? Maybe there are a few dotted around other sex establishments.

So even if we round up my figures, we have a very generous guesstimate of 300 ladyboys active in the sex industry. I actually think that is probably extremely generous. A lot of the above figures are probably the same katoeys moving from location to location and I think I have overestimated all my guesses. The total figure could be as few as 100.

So I would say somewhere between 100-300 katoeys working in Phuket’s sex industry. Certainly not 5,000 but then a figure of 100 would not make good press.

Men and Katoeys

So what about the demand for Katoeys? Are there really lots of men looking for their services? Since their most common approach seems to be trying to fool very drunk men, I would guess that their services are not massively in demand. I have met a few men who have had sexual encounters with katoeys. Most of them claim it was a drunken mistake.

I did meet one guy who happily proclaimed he had just been ‘blown off’ by two katoeys in his hotel room. He was rather proud of himself and certainly not claiming it was a mistake. You do meet some funny characters in Patong.

I guess there is some genuine demand for katoeys. Although they are active in the gay area, I do not think it is strictly a gay thing. Although they are made-up as women, I do not think it is a straight thing. But there is a hard-to-define group of men who do find katoeys attractive. Certainly, there is a lot of curiosity about them. Every month, the word ‘katoey’ is in the top 20 list of search keywords that have led people to our Phuket website. And we only have a small section on katoeys.

Negatives

Although katoeys are generally well accepted in Thai society there is still a negative side to their reputation. They do have a reputation for being spiteful and untrustworthy. I have personally met a few during my years in Thailand and I have to say that on the outside they all seemed well adapted and happy. However, I have also heard plenty of stories of katoeys involved in criminal activities such as pick pocketing and other thefts. They have also been known to harass and threaten passers-by late at night while looking for customers along the beachfronts.

These things certainly do happen but the scale of the problem is not clear. Whether katoeys really commit crime on a scale greater than other Thais is hard to judge.

They also have a reputation for being emotionally unbalanced. As I said, all the ones I have met have seemed fine. However, I think it is fair to say that the strains of their lives are very demanding and it is not surprising that many of them lose emotional control easily.

The tolerance of katoeys in Thai society is not absolute. Their families, particularly the fathers, sometimes reject them. Men who in most other ways are tolerant of katoeys, can still find it shameful to father one.

And the authorities’ tolerance also has its limits. When a katoey volleyball team won the national championship, two of the team were selected for the national team. The government stepped in and blocked their selection. They did not think it was good for the country’s image.

Saving Private Tootsie

In 2002, there was a Thai movie given the English title ‘Saving Private Tootsie’. In this movie, a plane crash strands a group of katoeys in the jungle of a war torn neighbouring country. A group of macho Thai soldiers is sent to rescue them. The story revolves around the personality clashes between the flouncy katoeys and the macho soldiers as they try to escape this neighbouring country.

In the end, they all pull together to make the final crossing back to Thailand. The soldiers put aside their dislike for the katoeys and their leader returns home to finally accept his son, who is also a katoey.

The movie’s message is one of tolerance that is typical of Thai society. At the end of the movie there is a nice quote from one katoey. “I may have been born in the wrong body, but at least I was born in the right country.”

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